The Surrealist Compliment Generator

I received a Surreal Compliment today:

Were giraffe's antennae to sprout from your barnacled elbows, one could but weep for the pretense of a fallen chamber pot.

And another [actually this is more apt for you, N]

An ocean-going tin of crosseyed mussels could never match the melodious burblings of your sister's husband.

All courtesy of the The Surrealist Compliment Generator

Strange Flash of the Day

Have you wondered what happens when an extremely flexible woman in a bikini is dropped into a world of bubbles? So have I - numerous times...

Now, wonder no more!

Especially Voluble

We had visited the outlet at Parkway Parade on Saturday to return a pair of jeans that Sa had picked up a few days earlier, and unwittingly walked into a maelstrom of primary colours, sequins and lace, and about a million women squeezed into an area the size of your average coffee outlet.

I heaved a heavy sigh when I saw the dreaded 4-letter word: Mango was having a SALE.

I'm happy to report that we managed to get a refund for the jeans, but in the process, my wallet was lightened much more. But I had a happy wife, and that's what counts, no?

But that's not the point of this blog. While imprisoned outside the Mango shop, I met another friend of mine who was similarly incarcerated. He had come over once he finished shopping for his new shirt, and on seeing me, called out - "Oy - neeyum maatindutiya?" ("Oi - you got stuck too?"). His wife had been sucked into the Mango vaccuum too, and we swapped stories outside.

There was this little girl standing by next to us, and we didn't bother her while she ate her Twisties. But I was surprised when she offered us one. Now you have to understand that in Singapore, no one offers strangers anything, leave alone strangers who are at least 20 years older than you, and of a different race. It made us raise an eyebrow (each); we politely declined, and resumed our chatting.

A minute later, she struck up a conversation. For us, having been in Singapore this long, striking up a random conversation is an alien phenomenon, and we didn't know how to respond. No one starts conversations with strangers here!

My friend, whom I will call RS recovered first and replied, and we chatted about all sorts of things from her age (she was 8), her school, classmates, and her birthday. She identified with our plight: her own mother was involved in the feeding frenzy inside, and I guess she could see the harassed and pitiful looks in our eyes.

At the end, RS and I decided to go for a coffee, and bid her farewell. While we were walking away, the little girl ran up to him, and wished him a Happy Birthday in advance! Very sweet, very voluble. I wish her the best in life, for lifting our day and warming our hearts.

Let them eat Bread

You can tell I've been eating at Subway far too much.

But it's nice!

Haiku Reviu - Parineeta

Sunbeams and pianos.
Saif loves Vidya; evil dad...
Good for nothing son.

Sanjay loves in vain,
Period costumes, soft focus
Wall breaks down at end!



And pretty decent music too; here's a review of one of the songs by 'nosediver'.

ND: We loved the music :-) Thanks for the recommedation!

Foam party at Ngee Ann City

Looks like someone in Singapore does have a sense of humour. All is not lost!

Edit: To make things clearer, it appears someone poured a box full of soap into the fountain.



Hehehe, why didn't I think of it?

Puzzle Champ

Well not really.

I've been submitting answers to the BBC Magazine Monitor's weekly Monday puzzles for the past 4 weeks now, and I finally got my 7 seconds of fame this week.

I'm an "honourable mention". The BBC did screw up a bit there though. They put me down as having gotten the wrong answer (with the right letters), when I had actually submitted the right answer - and included another anagram for a lark, in the same response. Looks like they only saw "Mealtime Clenches". :(

Well just had to clarify that.

But, for a bit of fun on a dreary weekday, go ahead and check out the BBC Magazine. It's updated daily, and has a regular set of offbeat, and very interesting columns, quotes and letters.



And a puzzle too. Can you solve the latest one? I have... it's easy.

'Berlusconi's fat' moulded to art

Dear faithful readers (all two of you), I know haven't blogged for a whole ... 16 days! I notice that some of you have been checking everyday for something from me, be it a new adventure in my exciting life, some opinion on a hotly debated issue, or a new product I'm excited about.

Well, the time has come, and I'm about to give you ... none of the above. Just this news item that will speak for itself.

An art work purportedly made from excess fat from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been sold for $18,000 (£9,862).



Switzerland-based artist Gianni Motti claims to have bought the fat from a clinic where the leader had a liposuction operation performed. He moulded it into a bar of soap which he named Mani Pulite (Clean Hands).

"I came up with the idea of because soap is made of pig fat, and I thought how much more appropriate it would be if people washed their hands using a piece of Berlusconi,"

How ironic. Silvio Berlusconi and 'Clean Hands'.

And how gross.



Anyone want to guess which part of his body the fat came from?

Chicken Rice - How do I Love Thee, Let Me Count the Ways

After a long long gap of over 2 months, Sa and I finally returned to our old haunt - the famous Hainanese Chicken rice stall along East Coast road.

When I first moved to the East (and specifically to Katong), I used to eat quite frequently at the stall next to 5-star. They served fabulous fried rice there, and over a couple of years, I had gotten quite friendly with the management there. At that time I didn't used to like steamed chicken - I had this feeling that it had a raw kind of flavour - and used to stick to classic roasted chicken rice.

Then a friend convinced my to try what I was missing, and I was hooked. So ladies and gentlemen, presenting:

Five Star Hainanese Chicken Rice Restaurant



So last night, we got there around 10.30, both tired and hungry after a long workout in the gym. Sat by the road and ordered our late dinner and after a short wait, the dishes presented themselves on our table.

1. Lovely chicken strips (our order has become a mantra with the staff there: breast meat, no skin, no bones, steamed chicken), marinated in soya sauce, with cucumber strips and garnished with parsley. Apparently the chickens used here are raised in Malaysia as free range (aka 'kampung') chickens. They're supposed to be tastier.



2. The famous rice. The rice is cooked in chicken broth, and it tastes delicious.



3. Bloccori with gahric, aka Broccoli with garlic. This is lightly cooked in soya sauce, and yet crisp and flavourful, laced with plenty of garlic.



4. Thai style Tofu - deep fried soya bean cakes, which are soft and wobbly on the inside and crisp on the outside. The cakes are covered with a sweet sour thai sauce, and topped with sliced onions.



We washed the whole thing down with some Chinese tea, and came away happy and full. Our bill for this feast? S$18.40. Not very cheap, but very worth the price.

As you can probably tell, we like this place very much. :)

Of Ghouls and Marbles

After posting my previous post on the sounds of marbles in HDB houses, I did some research, and found that Asia 1 had conducted a poll on their website, asking: "Do you sometimes hear the sound of dropping marbles in the HDB unit above yours in the middle of the night?", to which an amazing 65.7% said "Yes". Even discounting that a number of the Yes responses may be jokes, it still looks like a large number.

I also found that this phenomenon has been reported and discussed quite a lot in the past.

Some of the more interesting (not necessarily sane) hypotheses:

haha... anyway I've heard 2 kinds of explanation. The rational/ scientific one is the expansion and contraction of the steel in the reinforced concrete that most HDB flats are built with due to temperature fluctuations. I do wonder though why this phenomenon is less observed in private housing.

The 2nd, more "paranormal" explanation is that during the construction of HDB flats the construction workers/ foremen actually put in some marbles when pouring the concrete. These marbles are for the spirits that may be around, so they will play with the marbles instead of disturbing the human occupants of the place. *shrug* Anyone knows a construction foreman?

And here's another similar one:

... when they build the HDB flats, they will leave an empty space in between the floor and the next floor's ceilings, and they will put marbles into that empty space. It is for the spirits to play with ...

And one that may make more sense, though I can't imagine re-bars sounding like bouncing marbles:

... there are reinforced iron rods inside the concrete. During day time they expand due to heat, night time they contract.... That's why there is sound occurred [sic] at night... when iron rods contracted.

Still quite spookay.

Losing your marbles?

Time for some quirky stuff. This letter was published in the ST on the 6th of June:

I can hear marbles... or am I losing mine?

IN THE 15 years I lived in my three-room HDB flat in Lorong Ah Soo, my family had to endure what sounded like marbles being dropped on the floor of the unit above mine. Strangely, this seemed to take place only at night, at times in the wee hours of the morning. Never one for confrontation, I did not speak to the occupants upstairs, and we lived with it.

We moved to Punggol 21 five years ago, and the sound of marbles dropping in the wee hours of the morning seems to have followed us. I once trotted upstairs to see what sort of neighbours I have and the occupants were an elderly woman, her weak elderly husband and their domestic help. It is unlikely they played with marbles, and certainly not in the wee hours of the morning.

From conversations with friends, I was astounded to learn that this sound of dropping marbles is a widespread phenomenon in Singapore. It seems it happens only in HDB flats. One of my friends even suggested it may be the way HDB flats are built.

...

... and was followed by this affirmation from another reader today:

'Marbles' on the brain? Take them in the right spirit

...

Having lived in four different HDB flats from my childhood to my present nesting ground, the familiar sound of marbles has become integral to my idea of HDB living. Amid all sorts of sounds, pleasant or otherwise, my reaction has progressed from being spooked, irritated and curious to mostly nonchalant now.

Until a better explanation can be found, my only explanation of the sound of marbles on the floor of the unit above mine is that certain jinn, or creatures from the other dimension, are fond of making such noises in the wee hours of the morning. Especially after all the neighbours above my unit have moved out! This was the case when my family was among the last few left behind in our block which was affected by the Selective En-bloc Redevelopment Scheme.

...

If it is any relief to Mr Wong, I no longer hear the 'marbles', though my eldest son has described them exactly as Mr Wong did.

So we all know what to expect now - a letter from the HDB, thanking them for their feedback, stating these are design features, how the majority of the people polled liked the sounds, and that the readers are welcome to call the HDB at 1800-xxxxxxx to register their feedback.

This will be followed by the ST doing a full page report investigating the marbles, and coming to the conclusion that it was probably the airconditioning, or the plumbing or something innocuous. Investigative journalism at its best!

Today's "Letter to the Editor" of the Day

Signboard error does not sit well

NOW that the Speak Good English Movement is on, it is timely to point out an error in English usage on the signboards displayed at many food centres in Singapore.

For example, the signboard at the food centre at Block 8 Empress Road reads: 'Customers are at liberty to sit at any table and stool irrespective of the stalls they patronize.'

But when a customer sits at a table, he should be sitting on a chair or stool, therefore the words 'and stool' are redundant.

In other words, the wording should be changed to read: 'Customers are at liberty to sit at any table irrespective of the stalls they patronise.'

The error should be rectified as soon as possible.

The error should be rectified as soon as possible! People might die! Or worse - they may sit on the table instead of the stool. Or sit at the stool. Horrors!

People, there are far worse English errors that need to be fixed here. Let's focus time and columns space on how to improve the English education here in Singapore, and less on correcting a small redundancy by an undereducated person, shall we?

The emails I've seen written by colleagues and ex-colleagues of mine really make me want to reach out and strangle them. These are graduates from Singapore's finest universities, after at least 15 years in an English medium education.

Let me look for some of these choice samples and I'll post them here in a couple of days.

Pink in Bangkok

Came across this photo in my collection recently. We were in Bangkok (I think it was at the Royal Palace), and we chanced upon this group of tourists from Japan. I just loved the fact they were all in pink.

That and the fact that the fourth woman to the right of the tour-guide (from left: tourguide with back facing us, white cap, brown hat, white hat, woman in question) looks like Kim Jong-Il.

Mariamman Temple

Statues
Originally uploaded by katongking.

Sri Mariamman Temple is the oldest and most important of Singapore's Hindu religious buildings. It is dedicated to the goddess Mariamman who is known for her power in curing epidemic illness and diseases. Located in the heart of Chinatown, its ornamental entrance tower or gopuram, has been a landmark to generations of Hindu worshippers and Singapore residents alike. The temple has even given names to the streets flanking it: Temple and Pagoda; to the Chinese, Pagoda Street is known as "Back of the Indian Place of Worship".

Sri Mariamman Temple was established by Naraina Pillai, a government clerk in Penang who accompanied Raffles on his second visit to Singapore in mid-1819. Pillai rapidly established himself in business and became a community leader. He was a building contractor, set up the first brick kiln on the island and founded a shop selling cotton piece goods in Cross Street. In 1822, he was appointed Chief of Indians from Cholamandalam and given the power to settle disputes among the Tamil-speaking population of Singapore.

The English East India Company's original allotment of land for a Hindu Temple was in Telok Ayer Street. However, as it had no convenient source of fresh water needed for rituals, the resident, Colonel William Farquhar, allowed Pillai to occupy an alternative plot near what is today's Stamford Canal in 1821. The South Bridge site was finally granted in 1823.

By 1827 there stood a temple of wood and attap structure at the present site. The small deity installed by Naraina Pillai still has its divinity in the main sanctum, referred to as the "Sinna Amman".

In 1843, a building, using plaster and brick was put up for the first time. In 1963, a new brick building was built. Indian craftsmen were also brought in to undertake sculptural works. The first gopuram (main tower gateway) was constructed in the late 1800's. It did not contain mush sculptural or ornamental works at that time. A covered walkway, connecting the sanctums to the gopuram was built in 1916. After the temple gopuram was built was built in 1863, records do not show of any kumbabishegam (consecration) ceremony being conducted until 29 June 1936. The next kumbabishegam was 12 years later on 1 June 1949, 6th Jun 1971, 6th Sep 1984 & 19 May 96.